Alexi's Cash Dash

Heard of Illinois' Cash Dash? We hadn't either, until Vigilant Son-in-Law Dennis typed our name into a database of unclaimed cash in the State of Illinois. Of course, I thought Illinois was completely OUT of cash, so imagine my utter astonishment when our name and old address popped up.

"You may be among the millions of people, businesses and heirs who have cash or valuables owed to you in the State of Illinois."

Yeah, baby, now we're getting somewhere!

I'm getting me one of these:

Or if we're really, really lucky, maybe one of these:

I look good in red.

After several nail-biting months, State Treasurer Alexi Giannoulias took a break from running for Obama's Senate seat and sent us this note:

Alexi's cheery use of bold face type underscores an important fact: the state is broke and wishes it had MY money for its own Mercedes SL. Ha. You wish, buddy.

But then comes the dawn of day, the cash out reality, the financial icing on the Johnpeter cupcake:

I'm having this nightmare that the the State Treasurer's Office has spent roughly $10,000 processing claims that individually would barely cover the cost of a bowl of soup at Woolworth's lunch counter.

Here's the link to the state's coffers:

https://www.treasurer.il.gov/programs/up/UP_Login.asp

Do me a favor and put your name into the database (you don't have to register).  And let me know if you can claim anything north of $12.80. I'll be happy to post pictures of any Cash Dashers in their Mercedes, cuddling their IPads.