Several someones have asked me how much time is left before the wedding.
My usual response has been, "Not until the end of August."
"So, that would be 4 weeks? Less than?"
"End of summer. A long time from now. Gotta run."
Feeling not ready, overwhelmed and a little hyperventy. Hyperventilatish. Hyper. Hell, who has time to invent words?
As readers may recall, I had a horrible reaction to an antibiotic weeks ago that left me swollen like a balloon, so I have put off having my dress fitted because I was sure a.) I wouldn't be able to wrangle my body armor because my hands don't work** and b.) the dress would be two sizes too small.
The darling shoes I bought barely squeezed on (looking to bejewel some flip flops as backup), and I did manage the latex armor on my own (breathing optional).
A darling woman named Lubo, wearing her own brand of body armor, arrived from alterations to size me up.
That is one killer pin cushion.
Lubo chose one pin, pierced a seam and said the dress would be ready Aug. 8.
This is all going to work out, right?
Replied husband, "Don't worry, there will be people around to help you."
Just what every middle-aged woman wants: someone to help her put her underwear on.