When my friend Marilyn told me I was a month late looking for a mother-of-the-bride dress, I choked on my tortilla soup and made plans to drive to Nordstrom the next day.
I did a little pre-tripping on the website.
There are a lot of ugly dresses out there. A lot. In fact, they outweigh the non-ugly 50 to 1.
When I asked my bff Joyce if dress designers are all misogynists, she said yes.
Joyce knows fashion.
Pleats? Swirls of mauve vomited across the bodice? Random beads? Sleeveless?
This is not a look I am striving for.
The dress below is in the Mother of the Bride department. Clearly a typo. They meant step-mother of the bride. She graduated, what, two years after the bride?
Sleeveless? Gathered skirt? A great look for someone who is tall, hasn't had a sandwich since 1990 and knows from articulated arms.
In short, wrong, wrong and all wrong.
I am not a shopper because it is agony to browse beyond jeans and black pants.
My bride, however, is not keen on either of those looks.
Enter Rita, of Nordstrom Dresses. A stylish, thin woman of a certain age who knew the inventory and directed me to a dress that may actually work (particularly if I'm wearing body armor underneath.)
She is frantically looking for my size in this dress:
(I look just like this.)
It comes in a dark navy.
I have hope.
And I love Rita.
I emailed her managers to tell them how much I loved her, her calm, her insight and personal service. We are definitely inviting her to the wedding.
So, what's your experience with dress shopping? Anyone else recognize the huge gap between what's on the hanger and what looks good on real bodies?