Sunday, June 19, 2011


Back in November, when it was already 10 degrees and grayer than a Chicago mood, our basement drain backed up and contaminated pretty much everything. To those of you who have followed the basement's restoration-by-bleach-and-9000-rubbermaid-containers (it started here, should you care to relive every Leeuwenhoekian detail), I thank you. And I have bad news. The drain did it again. Then again. And once more, just for fun.

Now the subsequent tidal waves of that-which-shall-not-be-named were squelched before setting any of those plastic boxes afloat. But the physics of this problem alluded and infuriated us beyond the edge of reason, which means we called a plumber.

He determined the back-up was INSIDE THE HOUSE, clearly a plotline stolen from When a Stranger Calls, rather than in the pipes running out to the street.

He managed to do whatever it is plumbers do and advised that we were to use only toilet paper that is single-ply, or barely-ply. "Just don't use the cushy, expensive stuff."

I have given up cigarettes and eggs and diet Coke and my thyroid. And now Charmin.

There is no end to the sacrifice. Or the scratchiness.

With huge thanks to my pal Mike Haidley for his exquisite rendering of our wave of woe.


Mike Haidley said...

I will not comment on scratchiness, but I must say that 2 rolls of toilet paper does not a picture make. Anyway, I would just like to say thank you for letting me contribute(a very small amount) to your wonderful blog.

Carol said...

I am trying not to laugh. I am trying to feel empathy for your inconvenience and discomfort. But the last 4 sentences...can't. stop. laughing.

BFL said...


Sharon said...

I'm so sorry Sue. But I have to go with Carol!

grace said...

I can't stop laughing. You are hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Mrs JP

There are so many things that would not have been possible without our dear Herr Leeuwenhoek.

Mr B

Johanna said...

Only you would make Leeuwenhoekian into an adjective! Among the many things I learned in Nursing School 110 years ago - he was Dutch and probably eating cheese and wearing wooden shoes while inventing the microscope. Thank you for allowing me to contribute to your wonderful blog.

Lynn said...

I feel your scratchy pain, Sue. Living in the sticks with a pump-back septic system (what???), the same cautions apply here. You might want to tell younger females not to flush anything either, if you get my drift.....that can be another plumbing nightmare.