And you thought I was being humble when I said I can't cook.
As you can see (and if you live in Naperville and Lisle, no doubt smell), it is entirely true.
I come by these talents from my mother, who preferred to make reservations for dinner rather than chicken or pot roast.
In fact, she was the first mother on the eastern seaboard to purchase Swanson's Frozen TV Dinners. (Remember the taste of turkey and mashed potatoes in that divided aluminum pan? Yikes, that was awful. But novel, so points for that.)
If I win the lottery, I shall hire a housekeeper to make sense of all these complicated recipes. And then I'll write a book on how not to cook.